anorexia discovered….

since i was  bout 7- 8 yrs old,

ive had an eating disorder

but somehow didnt know it….

at least i never gave it the name it deserved…

its kind of embarrassing to admit, considering most of my Ana/ Mia ( nicknames for anorexia/ bulimia ) fb friends are in their teens….

they have already recognized a problem. i felt kinda dumb for not realizing it ages ago. it took me awhile to be ready to blog about this….

many of you have noticed, even asked me,  why i share intimate details about pretty much everything, but dont have even one blog post regarding my eating disorder.

people rightly assumed i have an experience with it to post such revealing statistics, facts, and photos….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Almost 50% of people with eating disorders meet the criteria for depression.
• Only 1 in 10 men and women with eating disorders receive treatment.
• Up to 24 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder) in the U.S.
• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honestly adding ana/ mia accounts was my journey of discovery! believe it or not you all contributed to me understanding myself !!

i started realizing their was a word for when i privately had freak outs and needed to eat a bunch. “BINGING” discovered.

i started realizing my dieting – was essentially fasting – my weight obsession indeed had a name. “ANOREXIA” discovered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i honestly thought throughout my life that i simply “dieted” – when i’d start to gain i’d imagine – oh my body doesnt need as much

as im taking in – i need to cut way back and lose that 5lbs quickly. not knowing that i was actually punishing my body, and if i had

only continued to eat, and added few more healthy things in, i’d have immediately lost the 5lbs….

starving was tricking my body into fearing if it wouldnt be fed. it learned to desperately cling on to and save the fat for just such occasions when id decide to stop eating. the human body automatically does this – when a person begins to lack food/nutrients.

i never looked at it as a real issue. i just figured. ya. im a bit obsessed with my weight, but who isnt these days?

i want to thank all of you on fb for being honest about your disorders. you have taught me to understand myself, and realize so very much.

if it werent for you honest notes, authentic status updates and comments, i would have never completely learned the truth of this disease.

i just felt i could not write about my newly discovered disorder until i could get a grasp on it, more understanding, and also seek resolution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting. 22% dieted “often” or “always.”5
• 86% report onset of eating disorder by age 20; 43% report onset between ages of 16 and 20.
• Anorexia is the third most common chronic illness among adolescents.
• 95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25.
• 25% of college-aged women engage in bingeing and purging as a weight-management technique.
• The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate associated with all causes of death for females 15-24 years.
• Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.
• In a survey of 185 female students on a college campus, 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight, and of the 83% that dieted for weight loss, 44% were of normal weight

• An estimated 10-15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.
• Men are less likely to seek treatment for eating disorders because of the perception that they are “woman’s diseases.”
• Among gay men, nearly 14% appeared to suffer from bulimia and over 20% appeared to be anorexic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i began to research my disorder. to comprehend it. to prepare a plan of action, to face it, not only for me, but for all of us. i had to figure it out.

the most IMPORTANT truth discovered was starving or fasting causes weight loss but fat gain. the bodies natural function is to

eat and burn calories. when we dont eat, it burns half muscle/ half fat. when we eat it burns pure fat. there is no reason for storing it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if you eat everyday throughout each day your body stops panicking and holding on to the fat, its like your body relaxes and finally functions as it was

meant to. my metabolism now at 32 yrs is way faster than its been in 10 years. eating every 4 hours small meals has completely changed my life….

*the binging has naturally cut back. i never feel so starving that i just got to stuff my face with everything i’ve been torturing myself not to eat !

*in the beginning i really had to force myself to eat some of the meals, now naturally my body actually feels hungry around every 4-5 hours !

*i did not take any laxatives, diet pills, green teas, a week of liquid, any crazy p90 X workouts, i am injured and have not worked out one day!

* after years of disrespecting my body, hating it, confusing it, fighting against its natural function, i began to respect it and it loved me back!

*i wouldnt be writing about this if i hadnt just lost 20 lbs in two 1/2 months. by changing my thought process and firmly my eating patterns !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• 95% of all dieters will regain their lost weight within 5 years.
• 35% of “normal dieters” progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20-25% progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders.
• The body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only 5% of American females.
47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.
69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape.13
42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner (Collins, 1991).
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat (Mellin et al., 1991).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 months ago i started by, for the first time in my entire life, admitting to my family doctor that i struggle with ED and was planning to eat healthy small

meals, working on recovery, and i was afraid of my obsession taking over and losing too much. so he wisely asked me what was my goal weight. when

i revealed my intended plan, he gently explained that with my body structure, type, and age that my goal was actually a weight he would consider very

underweight, unhealthy and cause for concern. then he caringly asked me to consider a healthier beautiful option of just 10lbs more than i wanted….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i felt free inside.

i thanked him.

i needed that.

i had less to lose then i originally had pinned on myself.

i decided to believe the doctor, and fight the mental lie, that sees myself as obviously bigger then i am.

i know i see myself thru different eyes then others do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i had a choice to believe the doctors experienced medical opinion and happily except i now had 10 less lbs to lose,

or to chose to believe that doctors nuts, and just doesnt want me to look good. lol. sound kinda funny but it all boils

down to each thing we decide to believe. we make the choice to believe lies from the evil one looking to “steal, kill and

destroy” now i tell close friends, those mean voices, the ones that make you hurt, that is a voice of evil. the plan of the

one piece of shit who desperately wants you to fail, feel dead inside, hurt, never find healing, never find forgiveness,

never find the truth, live in desperation, live tied to fear, scared to death of life, of people, of relationships, he wants

to keep you alone, he wants to feed you his hellish lies to keep you on the floor, on your back, not moving, not living.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus said,Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

” And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds” Phillipians 4:7

speaking of the evil one: “He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the father of lies makes rest in the mind – when you let him. he cannot stay if you chose to believe the opposite of what

he says there. if you turn him down -fight every lie with truth. he gets bored. he leaves. i’ve played his awful games my

whole entire life, even as a child, he sent those fiery piercing darts, into the delicate places in my soul, i didnt know how

to fight them. i was weak. i was little. i was afraid. i wondered why i was forced to hear the lies all the time, i believed

them sometimes, i didnt have anyone in my life to tell me any differently. this voice helped me criticize everything about

me. he loved to make me cry. he loved to leave me down. he knows our weakness our pain, and uses them to keep us stuck

and vulnerable. when you make a choice to throw out his thoughts, his lies, they are easily recognizable! ANY ANY

thought that makes you feel bad about you! they are any thoughts that makes you feel worthless or not good enough in any way!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im telling you now – you can be free from the lies, by choosing beautiful, freeing truth that restores, redeems, and re-energizes.

the road to truth can be difficult, its not for whimps, but i can say now – im so thankful that i ventured out to find more TRUTH.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my desperate journey for truth is what has freed me in many areas of my life. and now thankfully it has freed me from the prison of ED….

i thank God for the Hope, TRUTH, and strength He has given me. i am nothing without Him.

eating disorder statistics found here:

http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics/

Advertisements

2 Comments »

  1. Justin Prim Said:

    Love you SIS :) proud of you for writing yet another blog about something that most would never admit to. and also for those who do still want to do a “diet” and eat every few hours like you are would be the “ENGINE 2” diet its a plant based diet that also helps even chemicals in your head and body that can actually help change your mood. I know it changed mine when I was on it :)
    once again Love you SIS :)

    • brokenandscarred Said:

      thank you justin. i love you too. thanx for supporting me and always reading, means so much to me to have your encouragement. i have some new ones coming soon :o)


{ RSS feed for comments on this post} · { TrackBack URI }

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: